Tuesday, February 12, 2008

American Psycho 2: What!?

Tonight I indulged in an on-demand showing of American Psycho 2 starring Mila Kunis and William Shatner. It was an absolute disaster of a film, but one that unsurprisingly found worthiness through the aid of alcohol. Satisfaction was derived by turning the film into a drinking game in which my fellow viewers and I were to drink for the following events:

1) Mention of G.P.A. or F.B.I.
2) Emergence of William Shatner
3) Death of William Shatner (one Shot)
4) Montages set to pseudo-pop music
5) Post-Killing one liners

This film had straight-to-DVD written all over it. Even expecting that from witness of the title, it was difficult not to be distracted by the image of Meg Griffen every time Kunis opened her saucy, student serial killer mouth. William Shatner was by trade predictably mediocre, but phoned in the funk well enough to earn the paltry paycheck he likely collected for his role. Thanks, Priceline Negotiator!

Monday, February 4, 2008

My Very First Vanity Project

I forgot to mention that I like to watch blatant vanity projects and I feel that they fall within the purview of this site.

The jumping off point this weekend was the spectacular "I Know Who Killed Me." Spectacular in this case refers to the fact that it failed spectacularly at pretty much every possible level. Acting, cinematography, editing, craft services. All embarrassing.

It's pretty obvious that the root of the problems lies with Lindsay Lohan, as this film is painful in its venality. It seems that Lohan wanted to show the world that she is not the goody two shoes that her past screen personas had been (art imitating life?). What actually emerges is an interesting meditation on Lindsay Lohan's life if you look at the film being semi-autobiographical and the two characters that Lohan plays (the All-American girl and the crackbaby stripper) being two sides of her personality (apologies for spoilers, but I am probably doing you a favor). But that would mean I would have to think about this movie and fuck that.

Anyways, rather than go into a long-winded explanation of how stupid this film is, I'll just do some quick laundry-listing of funny aspects of the film. Keep an eye out for constant crane shots descending from trees when the director wants to use establishing shots. THE COLOR BLUE. Lohan saying "fuck" like someone who never cusses. A hairless cat that has balls bigger than its body and appear to be poop to the untrained eye. Characters that are introduced then never returned to again. Attempts at artful shot compositions. Constantly swooping camera in indoor scenes. A stripper that does not get naked ever. Lindsay Lohan fake humping a dude (Maybe it was real?). A story that makes no sense and an ending that is embarrassing.

There's more, but I have tried to forget it. I will give the film credit for making me laugh fairly often, though. Lohan also has like a bionic leg that needs to be charged like a cell phone